Government Hooker

You!

I have new jewels for you. And you. And you too. A couple of nights ago, Sophie and I had my shoot for the Take 40, Vodafone ‘Sydney Monster Hall’ Lady GaGa competition. Basically they have asked that you take a photo visually describing the ‘Little Monster’ in you. If you are chosen, you and a friend get a free ticket to the one off concert in July (the tickets are not available to the general public). So. Photography, dress-ups, meat dress homage… You can see how I was excited by all this business.

I wanted to make a regal image that really summed up the trash meets couture/ ugly beautiful style that really captures my heart(s) when it comes to Stefani G. Soph and I went absolutely spastarded in Spotlight, various 2 dollar shops, Coles and a specialised butchers called Glenmores. I needed two hearts. An Ox heart and a lamb’s heart to be crafted into some sort of head dress and necklace combo. This was a hard task, but luckily Sophie was a total gypsy and after being turned away from specialist butchers in Leichhardt we found the goods and put them all over me using eleastic, pins and steel skewers.

The night of the shoot was intense and amazing. I haven’t really had a night like that since art school. Soph and I fluffed around in her parent’s luscious Pyrmont apartment – right on the water, straight out of a ‘Better Homes Than Yours’ ‘zine. I needed a backdrop of rich antiquities and wealth and they were in the States so it worked out rather well. We started getting me into makeup around 12am after setting up the scene in the master bedroom (thank you Unicorn Tapestry – you made my night). This took about 3 hours. We blanked out my eyebrows (a drag technique Soph learnt from a strange production) and covered my whole upper half in Clown White. Add glam rock eye shadow and fake blood. We then constructed my gown, fashioned out of tulle (Spotlight), bin-bags, electrical tape and gaff (Coles). After I jumped into some tights and ripped the hell out of them we were pretty ready. After a battery and then lighting fail Soph and I really hit our straps, I turned into a Berliner/Queen/Prostitute on the bed and on the walls and Soph turned into… David La Chapelle. We ended up taking about 123 photos. I shortlisted 25 to retouch. We ended the shoot when it got light, feeling manic and super proud. We made something that was so close to our vision which is a really fantastic feeling. I actually felt bad when I took the hearts off my body and cut myself out of my dress. It was nice while it laster. I played with the crystal wear knives and worked the hell out of my point-and-shoot (the camera fucking loves you).

The look I was originally going for was something like rich upper-class Sydney sider goes insane in luxurious harbour side apartment, kills her child and husband and fashions jewellery out of their internal organs for photo shoot. I got close but it I did end up channelling quite a bit of Madonna and Maleficent. One trillion thank you’s to Soph who put up with me whinging about not being able to breath or balance the Heart Fascinator right.

So.

Here they are for your enjoyment (if I ever find any of these on cheap cross dressing web sites I will track you down and demand you pay me royalties or cook me dinner).

How You Can Help: Yes, that’s right. You can help. You have to help. I want to see Mother – and you’ve just checked me out in my skanties so you kinda owe me. Firstly, you can follow the hyperlinks to my FIRSTSECOND and THIRD entries and ‘Like’ them on Facebook. If you don’t have a Facebook account you can simply send the URL on to a friend who does, who you also think will dig the pics. The more buzz I have going about my pics, the more likely the judges are going to see my entry and love it stupid. Secondly, Tweet my entry and share the URL on your blogs and or pages. I’ll love you forever and dance in your honour on the special night. I’ll also try and recreate the costume and wear it on national television when they film it. Yup. Lastly, follow and keep checking Tom Christophersen Creates on Facebook as I will be posting more links to other entries I submit – basically I’m not going to stop until they give me the double pass I damn well deserve. There are also other goodies there for you to trawl through too.

I think that’s all. Watcha think of the shoot? Youuuu liiikeeee?

Tom x

About T o m C h r i s t o p h e r s e n

Actor. Artist. Atrocity.
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